For every woman I meet who loves her weekly tea & coffee group, there is another who hates the very concept.
Some see these groups as a dynamic exchange of ideas, an information gathering exercise, getting them out of the house and into new friendships.
Others see them as being filled with petty small talk of the negative and whining variety, dominated by a few opinionated souls who treat the occasions as their personal platform.
Wherever you sit on the tea & coffee group spectrum, there are many other ways to make new friends in a new location.
I’ve personally moved 15 times, across 6 countries, and have found my friendship groove. Having confidence beautiful people will cross my path ensures they do, given time and a little action on my part.
‘I Need Friends’ Tips
- Check meetup.com, Facebook groups or a local directory for special interest groups, whether existing or new for you. This might be books, cooking, fermented foods, sport, spiritual, language, cultural, craft, art, music, fitness, public speaking. If there isn’t a group, consider creating one.
- Be open to meeting new people wherever you go. The person in front of you may not be your next best friend, but may introduce you to him or her. Smile, make eye contact, ask questions, show interest and enthusiasm. However don’t be compelled to say yes to every opportunity,trust your instincts.
- If you’re stumped for something to say, ask a question of the other person. The three standards for transient locations seems to be ‘how long have you been here?’, ‘how long will you stay?’ and ‘why are you here?’. Having a few other favorites up your sleeve is nice, ‘what do you like to do for fun?’, ‘do you have a favourite restaurant?’ or ‘how do you spend your weekdays / weekends?’.
- Let those you meet know you are new to town and appreciate their local knowledge and suggestions of people to connect with. Most places seem to sport a few well-known people who delight in ‘knowing everybody’ and assisting with new connections.
Lastly, stay in touch with friends and family from other locations. Having people who know you, with whom you can air challenges, share happy memories and celebrate daily wins may well help you feel more confident and capable making friends in the new location too. With social media, mobile phones and voip technology, you can connect regularly, easily and relatively inexpensively.