It’s good to get up from the computer regularly, right?
Stretch the legs. Offer the eyes differing focal points. Assist movement through the digestive system.
It’s not so good if it’s to poke my head in the fridge – again. Wander around the pantry. Hunt out yet another serving of comfort food. Or drink.
I’ve read tips on how to reduce it. I’ve implemented some of them. I’ve set myself goals. My husband has offered to ‘delete all’. My health coach has offered support and held me accountable.
And still my inbox sits at 1000. Strewn with ‘gold’.
If only I could reduce them faster than they come in!
Of course I recognise what’s going on. My business is growing, however I’m not fully booked. I’m not yet bringing in an income commensurate with having a J-O-B. Which at this point isn’t an option, as my visa status in Vanuatu does not permit employment.
Money is not the whole picture. I love what I do and get immense pleasure from seeing clients and readers transform their lives. However, it’s not sustainable long term to earn so little in return.
So, I allow a flow – actually a deluge – of information and insights into my inbox.
I’m sure the solution to grow a business that will provide a beautiful balance of service to my community and fulfilment for me lies somewhere within.
Except there is more than I can read, digest and take action upon.
No matter how hard I try.
Which leads me to eat too much. And if alcohol were in the house, as it was until a few months ago, drink too much as well.
As a health coach, always interested in how we each react to situations and obstacles, I find it all very intriguing. And concerning.
How can we know what we’re doing wrong, recognise the harm we are doing – yet still keep on doing the same thing? Round and round, like the proverbial hamster on a wheel. Feeling like we are moving forward, working hard, always busy – yet not really progressing?
What causes us to self sabotage?
Usually, it’s fear. Kylie Patchett, Mindset Coach for Women Entrepreneurs, suggests there are seven forms.
- Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
- Fear of Success
- Fear of Not Being Good Enough
- Fear of Not Being Loved
- Fear of Rejection / Not Being Valued
- Fear of Failure
- Fear of Not Belonging / Not Being Safe
These fears and beliefs drive self sabotaging behaviour, which inhibits you achieving your full potential.
Me, I’m thinking my main fears are of failure, so I work hard but not necessarily smart; and of not being loved, so I absorb as much as I can from others to ensure I have as much as possible to offer.
What can we do to reduce self sabotage?
Recognising what’s driving your behaviour is the first step.
The second step is working out how you can change it. Often we know the answer, but we need a support crew to help us get there. Perhaps we need to replace it with a healthier habit. Maybe we need to see the bigger picture. Or just be conscious of the fact we are doing it.
Begin today. Recognise triggers. Reflect. Note steps backward. Celebrate steps forward.
For me, that means 1) reducing my inbox to an acceptable number – 100 – one email at a time; 2) by a certain date – 23 December 2015; 3) by prioritising this task on my calendar – about 10 hours per week; 4) tracking my progress; 5) adjusting the time needed, not the final number or date, to ensure success; and 6) reducing the number of information sources sending me ongoing emails to 30.
My support crew will be my husband, as he is all too aware of the stress my inbox causes me; and my peer coach Rowena, who lives in Hong Kong. Three years is a long time, it’s very clear I can’t do this on my own. I need them to hold me accountable, offer suggestions, spur me on, and celebrate with me along the way – even the small wins.
Do you have an equivalent of my inbox? What is the weight on your shoulders?
What do you need to change to really blossom?
Who can help you get there? A friend or family member? A specific support group?
A health professional? I love helping people tweak their lifestyle and habits for the better – and as you can see, it’s not just training and certification that helps me do so, I’m living it myself too.
Our first session is free of charge and obligation to continue, so do get in touch if you’d like to see if I might be the person you need on your support crew right now. Book here or contact me here. I’d love to hear from you.
You can do it. You really can. Just like these beautiful people.
And so can I. Bring on 23 December!
Update: 9 December 2015, two weeks to D-day (self imposed ‘delete-all’ if not below 100 day) – I’m very happy to report my total inbox is 326, the lowest in years, and steadily moving downwards. Yes, it’s been at the expense of more fun things, and yes, I need to make sure I’m reducing what is coming in, not just actioning those that do. But, gigantic steps in the right direction. Yey!